Glitter Lotion

January/February 2009

My tiles have always been glorious. They fit in just so creating a flowing picture of God’s gentle leading in my life. Loving husband, bright and beautiful children, friends whom I love and who love me back. But this one is different. It’s not the right shape, and the colors don’t match. It is breast cancer.

I am a 7 year veteran of mammograms, scheduling them like clockwork and arriving on time. I hold perfectly still and don’t breath. No lotion, no deodorant and don’t breathe. This year, I was 4 months late in scheduling. Seems the first reminder letter got lost in the mail. The second reminder card came, scolding me for “ignoring” the first card. Oh, no, not me. I never got the card. You see, if I had, I would have scheduled the appointment right away. I am a Good Patient. No lotion, no deodorant and don’t breathe.

I arrived at the clinic on time, January 30, 2009. Except I used glitter lotion that day. Glitter lotion on the day of a mammogram? What was I thinking? The technician had me wipe it off, and re-took the films. Much better, thank you. When my nurse practioner, Laura, called me back and said “they want to see you again, there are calcifications in your left breast, it doesn’t look too worrisome to me.”, I thought….it was the glitter lotion. It had to be the glitter lotion, it left some smutz on the glass which showed up on the films. I’ll schedule it and we’ll just clear that right up.

The appointment was scheduled for February 24, 2009. Three weeks later. If it was breast cancer, surely they would not wait 3 weeks to take another look. I was reassured. When the appointed day came, I got ready to go. No lotion, no deodorant, don’t breath. She took the films, we chatted about who knows what. After the films, while still in my gown that opened in the front, she took me to a waiting room with coffee and magazines, where another woman sat and waited in her gown that opened in the front. In just a few minutes, the technician came in and told her “everything looks good, we’ll see you again in 1 year.” Then I was alone and waiting….waiting…waiting….how long should it take to look and see that the smutz is gone? Soon the Radiologist came in and sat down.

Honestly, I can’t remember exactly what she said. Blah blah blah, calcifications can have many causes, and do not usually indicate breast cancer. There, she said it “breast cancer”. However, since mine had just shown up since the last mammogram, it indicated some kind of change and they needed to get a better idea. “Our recommendation is a biopsy”. Only 20% of these are early breast cancers..most likely they’ll just want to watch and take another mammogram in a few months.

I met with the medical assistant that day, she explained the procedure and gave me a yellow paper with all of the instructions. We made an appointment, with another one 2 days later for the results. Most likely, they’ll just want to watch and have you come back for a mammogram in 6 months. Heard that before. Yes, you would want to bring someone with you for that one, she explained. Two sets of ears.